I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?

Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator

The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.

Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I wouldn't care if everybody in the country mocked me.

In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted.

Detroit's so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.