I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?

I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.

I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass.

The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.

Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions of light-years- a group of aliens so intelligent, so insouciant, so utterly above it all, they feel no need whatsoever to equip their spacecraft with windows so that they can gaze out on all that celestial beauty-but then immediately upon landing, their first impulse is to get in some hick's ass with a flashlight.