I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.

The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.

I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.

Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.

I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from overseas wants to blow up their wedding, that's when I'm right.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.