Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
Dennis MillerThen people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.
Dennis MillerThe American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.
Dennis Miller