The Nazi signs have got to stop. If you're in a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign saying that 'Bush is Hitler,' forget the peace thing for a second and beat his ass, because he is not Hitler.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.

Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.

America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.