I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.

Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about dropping 50 pounds.

The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.

Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was subdued after the co-pilot hit him with a small ax. Good to see our airlines are being kept secure by the latest in 12th century technology.

I'm glad I don't have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you'd be better off giving your money to a colorblind roulette addict than put it in the stock market.