Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today?

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.

Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for us to accept a guy with a big white beard hawking his own custom blend of saw palmetto and squirrel dandruff that it is to hear a real doctor telling us to lay off the big macs, and get off our fat asses and take a walk every decade or so.

Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?

I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.

Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.