President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.

Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted.

To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.

And I know your next move, I watch you so much, 'There's been no proven link between the secular state of Iraq and al-Qaeda!' Come on. They both think we're Satan. Isn't that a nice starting point? Why are you so loathe to believe they might have each other on lunatic speed dial?

Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.