President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.

It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.

Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.

Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.

The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get there first... you are halling ass my friends.

It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.