It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package.

The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.

The Cowboy's defense has more holes in it than Ronny Milsapp and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts.

The left promises abortion rights and cradle to the grave protection, so the trick is to make it to the cradle.

I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.

Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?

I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun.