It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package.

Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.

Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.