Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.

When you're sharing a mud hole with a wildebeest derriere in sub-Saharan Africa, that's a living hell.

After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.

Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

After September 11th, freedom of speech in America has become a topic that's touchier than a Vatican summer camp.

Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.

America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.