Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.

Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.

And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking..."yeah, that's coming down."

A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'

American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.