Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.

It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package.

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.

That receiver was as wide open as Annabel Chong.

Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.