The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.

I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.

The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.

Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.

That receiver was as wide open as Annabel Chong.

Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.