If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!

Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.

That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.

Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.

Detroit's so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.