I'd rather be funny than wise.

There's no more delicious irony on the face of the Earth than environmental protesters being led away in plastic handcuffs that have a biodegradability horizon line of, like, 40,000 years.

The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.

He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O'Donnell's house.

The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.

I've seen better coverage at an Alan Keyes press conference.

We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.