Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.

Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.

Other than the bombs they strap to their chests, Ive got no idea what makes the Palestinians tick.

American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?

I don't know about you, but in my neighborhood, they just opened a Starbucks... IN A STARBUCKS!!!