It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.

Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.'

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?

If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.

Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.

I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.