Is global warming new? I don't know. When I was young I remember the sun being hot.

The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a bad guy... When I'm in Los Angeles having these incredibly surreal moments where nobody's saying anything and everybody's talking incessantly, I always have that Pittsburgh voice in my head - shut up, smile, get the job, move on.

Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.

If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.

It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.

The left promises abortion rights and cradle to the grave protection, so the trick is to make it to the cradle.