The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.

I've seen better coverage at an Alan Keyes press conference.

After September 11th, freedom of speech in America has become a topic that's touchier than a Vatican summer camp.

The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now: Public displays of Christ's birth, that's the problem. It's unbelievable to me. The ACLU will no longer fight for your right to put up a nativity scene, but they'll fight for the right of the local freak who wants to stumble onto the scene and have sex with one of the sheep.

Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.

Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.