I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.

Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.

I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?

Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!

A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'