The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now: Public displays of Christ's birth, that's the problem. It's unbelievable to me. The ACLU will no longer fight for your right to put up a nativity scene, but they'll fight for the right of the local freak who wants to stumble onto the scene and have sex with one of the sheep.

If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!

Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.

Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.