The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now: Public displays of Christ's birth, that's the problem. It's unbelievable to me. The ACLU will no longer fight for your right to put up a nativity scene, but they'll fight for the right of the local freak who wants to stumble onto the scene and have sex with one of the sheep.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.

Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.

It's wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.

That receiver was as wide open as Annabel Chong.

Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.