Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.

I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass.

Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.

Why should I hate someone on the basis of their religion, when I can take a little time to get to know them and hate them for a myriad of real reasons.

I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.

Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.

For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.