Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.
Dennis MillerTo me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
Dennis MillerLook, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for us to accept a guy with a big white beard hawking his own custom blend of saw palmetto and squirrel dandruff that it is to hear a real doctor telling us to lay off the big macs, and get off our fat asses and take a walk every decade or so.
Dennis Miller