Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Big deal, so he scored. The last time I saw someone dance like that I had to pay her $20 and have my pants dry cleaned the next day.

Think of Iraq as "East Korea," because it was a shoot the cuffs war for the edification of Kim Jong Il to let him know we've now circled the SUVs. Iraq was about breaking adhesions, getting lean, staying frosty - in short, getting ready for the big Doug MacArthur Memorial Cage Match to come.

Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.

When you're sharing a mud hole with a wildebeest derriere in sub-Saharan Africa, that's a living hell.

Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.

That receiver was as wide open as Annabel Chong.