The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.

Is global warming new? I don't know. When I was young I remember the sun being hot.

I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from overseas wants to blow up their wedding, that's when I'm right.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

I rant, therefore I am