Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about dropping 50 pounds.

Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.

The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.

Is global warming new? I don't know. When I was young I remember the sun being hot.

Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about dropping 50 pounds.

I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.

Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.'