Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.

Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?

Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!

We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep.

That receiver was as wide open as Annabel Chong.

I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless.