To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?

And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.

Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.