I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.

That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.

Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now: Public displays of Christ's birth, that's the problem. It's unbelievable to me. The ACLU will no longer fight for your right to put up a nativity scene, but they'll fight for the right of the local freak who wants to stumble onto the scene and have sex with one of the sheep.

Why should I hate someone on the basis of their religion, when I can take a little time to get to know them and hate them for a myriad of real reasons.