Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.

Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.

A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.

I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song, you can't always get what you want, i.e., the grail. Sometimes you get what you need. And whatever she's gotten over the last couple of years, being humbled or be it being humbled and see the proletariat come to bat for her, getting outside of the bubble, getting out of this man's shadow, not quite getting the job she wants but a great wonk job.

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.

I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.