You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.

Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.

I used to be sceptic, but not anymore, because now I am positive that I'm getting screwed.

For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.

Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.

Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.