Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.

Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.

And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow.

I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.

And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.

When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.

I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.