Seems to me we move the furniture, the French come in later and put the doilies on top of it...It's a simple fact they've always been reluctant to surrender to the wishes of their friends and are almost anticipatory in their urge to surrender to wishes of their enemies. And if they want to get their hands dirty now they're just gonna have to run 'em through their own hair.

Now let me get this straight. Bush is anti-abortion, but pro-death penalty. I guess it's all in the timing, huh?

Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.

Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam "We're #1" finger.

Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.

When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.

Yeah, this country's founding fathers are a bunch of dead rich white men, but they did set things up so you could come and sit at the table, so don't piss in the finger bowls, all right? Thank you. In return for unfettered economic opportunity and no government death squads, try to get along with your new stepmotherland, and don't be resentful if there's a set of house rules already in place.