Big deal, so he scored. The last time I saw someone dance like that I had to pay her $20 and have my pants dry cleaned the next day.

I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.

Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.