If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.

If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.

The world is so ass-backwards it almost makes you wish you were dyslexic.

I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun.

With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.

I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.

If you could use the Internet somehow to see how a Fiji sailor is doing, rather than having to read a text version of it somewhere a day later, that would be great.