The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.

Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?

There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.