It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.

Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.

I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.

At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school years that it was a safe, nice, warm, fair, feeling place... but it can get brutal when it gets competitive. Especially when you succeed. Watch the detractors come out of the walls at that point.

He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O'Donnell's house.