The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.

Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.

We are simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired nation on this planet. In short, we are Frank Sinatra.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!