The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass.

If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.

I'm actually equal parts cynicism and apathy. I'm always willing to believe the worst as long as it doesn't take too much effort.

At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school years that it was a safe, nice, warm, fair, feeling place... but it can get brutal when it gets competitive. Especially when you succeed. Watch the detractors come out of the walls at that point.