Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.

I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.

I'd rather be funny than wise.

I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from overseas wants to blow up their wedding, that's when I'm right.

Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted.

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.