Other than the bombs they strap to their chests, Ive got no idea what makes the Palestinians tick.

Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

And I know your next move, I watch you so much, 'There's been no proven link between the secular state of Iraq and al-Qaeda!' Come on. They both think we're Satan. Isn't that a nice starting point? Why are you so loathe to believe they might have each other on lunatic speed dial?

Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'

The left promises abortion rights and cradle to the grave protection, so the trick is to make it to the cradle.

I don't know about you, but in my neighborhood, they just opened a Starbucks... IN A STARBUCKS!!!