A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.

Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.

Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.

I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.

When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.

Big deal, so he scored. The last time I saw someone dance like that I had to pay her $20 and have my pants dry cleaned the next day.

Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.