Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.

Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.

Teresa Lewis, the only woman on death row in Virginia, says she doesn't deserve the death penalty because she only hired the killers of her husband and stepson, she didn't actually pull the trigger herself. You know, she has a point. I think we should let her be able to hire the person who executes her, and not do yourself in! How's that, doll? Yeah! Get it over with quick, maybe Charlize Theron will sign up to play you.

Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.

Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.

Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.