Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.

Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.

Yeah, this country's founding fathers are a bunch of dead rich white men, but they did set things up so you could come and sit at the table, so don't piss in the finger bowls, all right? Thank you. In return for unfettered economic opportunity and no government death squads, try to get along with your new stepmotherland, and don't be resentful if there's a set of house rules already in place.

Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.