For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.

That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.

Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.

I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man, and maybe it's the times we live in. They say he's not an environmentalist. But every time I see his ranch on TV, it looks pretty nice. You know something, if we all took care of our own, we'd have a great environment.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.

Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.