America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
Dennis MillerThere's no more delicious irony on the face of the Earth than environmental protesters being led away in plastic handcuffs that have a biodegradability horizon line of, like, 40,000 years.
Dennis MillerThe Cowboy's defense has more holes in it than Ronny Milsapp and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts.
Dennis MillerI don't know about you, but in my neighborhood, they just opened a Starbucks... IN A STARBUCKS!!!
Dennis Miller