Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.

Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.

The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.

If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion

Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.

Now let me get this straight. Bush is anti-abortion, but pro-death penalty. I guess it's all in the timing, huh?

[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on to America Online in your hometown, and it's just staggering to think that at the same moment, halfway around the world, in China, someone you've never met is sitting at their computer, hearing the exact same busy signal that you're hearing.