I would not ever try to be a show intellectual, which I was accused of doing a while on ABC. I thought you were supposed to read the guests' books.

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

Great humorists are great insulters.

I'll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.

It's no fun being a specimen.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

I've actually gotten so I don't associate television with entertainment very much.