The trick to writing for people is, you have to be able to turn them on in your head. And know how they'd word something or how they'd inflect it.

You have to be on TV a surprisingly long time before you're stopped on the street. Then, when you are, you get a lot of, 'Hey, you're great! What's your name again?'

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

If (O.J. Simpson) is acquitted, I will renounce my citizenship. And if I converse with him at a cocktail party, I will say, 'Well, there are so many people here who haven't murdered anyone. I think I'll go talk to them.' I'll also riot.

Lawyers work hard and, like us, they're human, many of them.

Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.