I live a sensible life. You know, I don't take on too much.

Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it's painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it's extremely painful.

Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.

I have a long list of things that make me mad.

You would have to be naive to think you can appear on television and not have the material edited in some way.

Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, 'It was a perfect script for she and I,' inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, 'Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?'

The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that's long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.