I'm not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn't really bother me.

In relative youth, we assume we'll remember everything. Someone should urge the young to think otherwise.

If you have a relative who's lost interest in everything and doesn't get out of bed, who doesn't care for things they used to, can't imagine anything that would give them any pleasure, don't fool around with it; get therapy, get help, get medication if that's right for you, or talk therapy, or something.

Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I haven't ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.