Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.

I confess, I do have to remind myself almost daily that there are people on this earth capable of reading, writing, eating and dressing themselves who believe their lives are ruled from billions of miles away, by the stars - and, of course, the planets.

I live a sensible life. You know, I don't take on too much.

Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it's hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to be what you are.

There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: 'What's your sign?' Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

Great humorists are great insulters.