Martin Luther King taught us all nonviolence. I was told to extend nonviolence to the mother and her calf.

When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete's feet don't exist, there's something wrong.

Black conservatives have a right to exist, but why would I want to walk around with a swastika on my shirt after the way Hitler done messed it up?

I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they've got a bloated belly and a bald head. And I realized that if you come through any American airport and see businessmen running through with bloated bellies and bald heads, that's malnutrition, too.

In the South they don't mind how close I get, so long as I don't get too big. In the North they don't mind how big I get, so long as I don't get too close.

I didn't realize, when I decided to be a comic, that a black person had never been allowed to stand flat-footed in America and talk to white folks. It never happened before.

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.