I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. If all you can see is your shadow, you're blocking your own light. If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.

Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.

I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs.

Gentlemen prefer blondes, but take what they can get.

Intellectuals should never marry; they won't enjoy it; and besides, they should not reproduce themselves.

Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.