I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. If all you can see is your shadow, you're blocking your own light. If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.

Moralizing and morals are two entirely different things and are always found in entirely different people

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.

Poverty must have many satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.

Intellectuals should never marry; they won't enjoy it; and besides, they should not reproduce themselves.

The chief trouble with jazz is that there is not enough of it; some of it we have to listen to twice.